Brené Brown visited the BBC Breakfast sofa last week. She was in the UK to promote her US bestselling self-help book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
How comfortable are you with vulnerability?
While many Brits would rather go into witness protection than approach the self-help aisle, I hope this book does well here. Brene’s research deftly explores the challenges and rewards that come from embracing our vulnerability, and it’s not just for self-help junkies. It’s full of wisdom for business owners. It certainly got me thinking.
Who honestly enjoys feeling vulnerable in life, let alone in business?
Most of us resist showing up, being seen and feeling vulnerable. We prefer bobbing around in safe waters. We may hide out and kid ourselves that we are just ‘being professional, not pushy’. We may even develop creative avoidance tactics. Seriously, read this book – if you’re not nodding along in recognition I’d be surprised. You might even blush.
I have a gold star in resisting vulnerability and so do most of my clients. I see it most when we’re discussing appropriate levels of personal disclosure in their branding and marketing material.
‘Don’t you think it’s a little too revealing, Claire? Do they really need to know that about me? Couldn’t we just take the ‘I’ out of that sentence?’
‘Well you could,’ I say, ‘but put yourself in your customers’ shoes. If you had the choice of hiring Mr Personable who has a great service and you somehow sense you can relate to him AND he appears to want to engage meaningfully with you, or Mr Stock Photo with the superhuman credentials, a missing-in-action personality and an About page written like a school master, who would you choose? As in life, so in business. People do business with people. And they do even more with people they like’.
Having said that, I’m hotwired for privacy and completely understand where they’re coming from. I’m now in the midst of social media training, and Brené’s findings have hit a nerve. I’m cautious, but also aware that in this age of fluid communication we need to be more present to our audience than ever. Engagement, warmth and openness are definitely key ingredients in the social media sauce of success.
Back on the BBC Breakfast sofa, the presenter reckoned Brené might find it harder to convince us Brits to unravel our top lips than our American counterparts, and that perhaps our more reserved nature has something going for it. But she was quick to stress that she’s not advocating ‘inappropriate oversharing’. We can leave that to the celebrities! ‘Vulnerability minus boundaries isn’t vulnerability!’
Phew! That feels like a lifeline! I can continue to keep my dirty laundry to myself, but happily sport the odd stain in public without hyperventilating.
Later, on facebook, Brené mused, ‘Vulnerability is a paradox. It is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I want you to see in me.’
I’m definitely a work in progress, how about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you hiding out or letting it all hang out? Do you squirm when people get too personal? What is ‘too’ personal? Are Brits really that buttoned up? (not talking about the cast of TOWIE!) What is your experience of vulnerability? Did it go well or are you still hiding under a rock?
Don’t know much about Brene Brown yet? Catch her fabulous TED talk on Vulnerability:
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